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  --

  Dedication

  For my parents.

  For my family.

  For everyone who helped me up and for everyone I let down. You know who you are.Sincerest thanks and most heartfelt apologies
.

  Cory

  --

  1.

  I once had a Tai Chi instructor who explained the difference between Chinese andWestern medicine thus: "Western medicine is based on corpses, things that youdiscover by cutting up dead bodies and pulling them apart. Chinese medicine isbased on living flesh, things observed from vital, moving humans."

  The explanation, like all good propaganda, is stirring and stilted, and notparticularly accurate, and gummy as the hook from a top-40 song, sticky in yourmind in the sleep-deprived noontime when the world takes on a hallucinatoryhypperreal clarity. Like now as I sit here in my underwear on the roof of asanatorium in the back woods off Route 128, far enough from the perpetualconstruction of Boston that it's merely a cloud of dust like a herd of distantbuffalo charging the plains. Like now as I sit here with a pencil up my nose,thinking about homebrew lobotomies and wouldn't it be nice if I gave myself one.

  Deep breath.

  The difference between Chinese medicine and Western medicine is the